Today I’m handing over to Lauren from Mummy is a Gadget Geek to being you a pretty cool post about her Top 5 things to pack should there be a Zombie Apocalypse…as you never can be to certain about these things!!
So, I’m not an expert on the Zombie Apocalypse. Mainly because – touch wood – there hasn’t actually been one. And if there had, lets face it, I probably wouldn’t be around to offer advice on escaping it. All things considered, most likely, I’d be off clawing myself along the ground somewhere, dragging my entrails behind me.
BUT that doesn’t mean I haven’t put a lot of thought into how best to deal with it, should the worst happen. I’ve read the books, I watched the movies, I’ve debated with random people in swimming pools. And these are the five top tips I’ve come up with. You’re welcome:
1. Packing up the car and trying to escape – don’t bother! Cars need fuel, they need clear roads, they basically become tiny little death traps surrounded by slathering fiends that are definitely not just looking for a bit of conversation. Either make sure you are living in a fortified bunker to start with, or find out the location of the nearest fortified bunker someone else has thoughtfully provided and travel there via bicycle. Burying caches of useful supplies along the way is also a good idea. Just remember you won’t have any GPS to find them, so best to study orienteering whilst you still can.
2. Food. You need some. And hopefully not brains…
Beans are a good idea because they provide a good source of energy, and they keep for a long time. Actually, any type of grain. Downside – they are heavy. You won’t be able to carry enough on your bicycle. So you’ll need to acquire more at some point. Make sure you investigate the locations of the nearest grain silos, and ALWAYS carry a tin opener. Or a multi tool that includes one, even better.
Most people in the U.K. don’t have guns. Most people have never even shot a gun. Maybe you’ve been clay pigeon shooting? Well, zombies aren’t made of clay and they don’t fly (at least, lets hope not or that’s a whole other story). Also…ammunition is hard to come by. So let’s assume guns are not an option.
Some kind of large knife or bat is probably your best bet. If the zombies are close enough to hit, whack them, otherwise RUN AWAY.
4. Medical supplies
Running away has its downfalls – literally. At some point you will either cut yourself, catch a horrible infection, or lose a limb. Make sure you either drag a doctor along with you, or know enough about basic first aid to deal with all minor medical emergencies – and that includes having the correct dressings, medication and tools to administer them.
5. Think about what you’re wearing. A decent raincoat can be used to provide shelter from the rain and the wind, to catch water in to drink, or (if I remember my lifeguarding lessons right) as a float if you need to use water based transport. That may actually have been a t-shirt, so maybe wear one of those too. And some lightweight trousers, the kind that zip off into shorts if you’re a bit hot, and allow you to easily wash out blood stains. Looking good as a zombie may also be a consideration, should the worst happen. You don’t want to be one of those haggard looking ones wandering around in a shredded pair of underpants. Have a bit of class and make sure you are the most stylish zombie / zombie fighter around.