Marriage is a long-term commitment because you don’t just marry a person, but attach yourself to their job, routine, and lifestyle. If you start a life with someone who lives on the edge, do not expect things to be the same as saying goodbye to him at nine and opening the door to welcome him back at six. Being a firefighter’s spouse is stressful, no matter how much you try to adapt to your circumstances.
People who work in the role are a unique breed, so they have certain cultural expectations of their partners. As a spouse, matching their expectations can be challenging. At the same time, coping with your emotions, needs, and apprehensions is even more daunting. But having realistic expectations makes life easy for you. Here are some things you need to know before marrying a firefighter because your life will be different from your friends and colleagues..
There will never be enough couple-time
You want to spend romantic moments with your partner as a newlywed, but keep your expectations realistic. Getting ten nights a month with them is good enough because their work demands them to be on duty most time. But you can do your bit to avoid the intimacy gaps. After all, you should be together physically to strengthen your bond as a couple. Make the most of the nights you are together by planning a surprise in bed. You can even make the days special by taking a day off from work. A little effort is enough to fulfill your couple-time goals.
Your partner will not be around to raise the babies
Think beyond the couple-time because your spouse will probably not be around to raise the babies. Be prepared to wait for him in the labor room if an emergency comes up. But that’s the way life is for firefighter wives. You will be alone most nights when the baby cries or keeps you awake. Seeking help from a family member or friend is a good idea if you need a break. But you should be proud of your partner, even if he isn’t around, because he is somewhere else, rescuing people and saving lives.
You must know the risks
This one is a no-brainer because firefighters risk their lives every day, so their families may constantly grapple with doubts. But knowing the risks may help you deal with them and face the situation without fear. Besides fire and falls, your partner faces occupational risks such as exposure to chemicals in firefighting foam. You must understand what is AFFF, which chemicals it contains, and how prolonged exposure can harm human health. Unfortunately, the toxic chemicals in AFFF increase the risk of cancer. But firefighters can claim compensation by filing a firefighting foam lawsuit against negligent AFFF manufacturers. As a spouse, you must know your partner’s rights and help them claim compensation if they suffer down the line.
Marrying a firefighter means adopting their co-workers
Surprisingly, marrying a firefighter is as good as adopting the entire company. You may even get a few co-workers from the neighboring division as your extended family. They will meet you more often than you imagine and drop in without prior information, but you will probably love them as your family. Consider them your partner’s lifeline when they are in the middle of danger. These professionals always stand by their colleagues, which makes them one big family that sticks together.
Holidays are different for your family
The holiday season is family time for everyone you know, but it may be different for your family. Your partner may be around on Christmas eve if you are lucky and there are no emergency calls. The best thing you can do is to pray for a safe Christmas for everyone in town. But you need not worry about family bonding because your kids will be proud of their dad, even if he cannot be present on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. They probably get a lot of appreciation at school, so they understand the importance of their dad’s role.
Being a firefighter’s spouse may not be easy, but it is worth feeling proud about. Remember that your partner saves lives, so he deserves more love and respect. Show him how proud you are of him, and encourage your kids to do the same. Do not wait for special occasions, but make every moment special when you are with him. Also, ditch the fear and trust him to be safe for you and your family.